One day at a time
Well, there seems to be a common theme about coping adages in the bellydance world. Why are people so mean to each other? Why can't people just work their businesses in a professional way? The amount of cattiness is out of control. So I, and other bellydancers I know, have to take it one day at a time. I find this helps. Another bellydancer has done something crazy? I'm just going to work my business for another day. I don't know what will happen tomorrow. It's a choice. Every day, you make the choice (if you're given the opportunity) to go out into the world. Some things might not be worth it, and I might decide not to do it anymore. Of course, you finish what's on your plate. Finish what you've committed to and then re-evaluate. We need some kind of Dr. Phil or Oprah for bellydancers. Serious counseling. Some kind of book about how women sabotage each other. Just venting here. It gets tiring sometimes.

Zuleika

The cupcakes - also known as - To quit, do it more.
I have an obsession with cupcakes. I started eating one a week in December, in anticipation of my birthday. I thought for sure I would be offered some cake for my birthday. To which I would respond: I would rather have a cupcake. My plan didn't pan out (pardon the pun), but the cupcake crusade continued.
I was able to eat one cupcake from the local bakery. I love the mom and pop bakeries who do special order cakes and have handmade signs with rules. Some of the signs are hastily written and proclaim the policies on cancelling special orders. A confusing sign also declares that you must let them know if you're paying with debit before they ring you up. (This one seems odd, but okay....)
So I've been able to eat the cupcake once a week in moderation, which made me very happy. However, I did not know the nutritional value of the cupcake. What if I it had more calories than I thought? Or, worse, what if it had fewer? So I decided to make my own. I also had to make my own icing.
I went with Betty Crocker's Lemon Poppy Seed muffins which come with their own glaze. (To me, that's a cupcake.) They were great. I made them with low-calorie ingredients. I begin eyeing mini-cupcake pans at the store. I ended up buying one to experiment more with the quest for creamy cupcakes.
Next, I made spice cake mini muffins with pumpkin instead of oil. Those were great, too. Visitors to my house eat about five or six at a time. They just push the little ones into their mouth with no chewing. That's not how I eat them. I make one cupcake last about three bites.
The icing I used was Wilton's Ready to Decorate. I picked it because it had nutritional contents listed. I actually measured 1 tsp. out, but I only had a 1/3 tsp. measuring spoon, so it got a bit ridiculous. I chose pink icing since it's close to Valentine's Day, and I even threw on some red sprinkles.
However, I started fearing that I would eat too many since now they're at my house. I kept track of how many I ate, though, so it didn't get out of control. I haven't visited any bakeries since I started making my own.
And last night, two little kids asked me if they could have one of the mini cupcakes. I was thrilled. They think they're cupcakes, too!
But how does this relate to bellydance?
The cupcake crusade reminds me of something I read recently in Oprah Magazine by Martha Beck. Martha Beck is one of my favorite writers. Her basic theory was that to stop doing something, you should overdo it so much that you get tired of it. Eventually, the novelty will wear off and you will moderate yourself.
Every so often, we should evaluate whether things work for us and if we should quit. Ask yourself what your goals are and whether you are achieving them. What outcomes could you be happy with if your original goals aren't being met?
I apply these concepts to bellydance as well. As a sponsor of an extremely large event (the East Coast Classic), I had to establish goals for myself to examine why I continue. Periodically, I re-evaluate to see if I am reaching my goals or not and what I could do differently. I am certainly growing as far as personal development, but there are other factors to consider.
For now, I'm still in the race. This year will definitely happen. What will happen later, I can't say. It's a little amusing that I've had to consult mental health adages in order to find some clarity. (Another adage that occurs to me is this one: one day at a time.)
So, when you're tempted to quit, re-evaluate. Check your goals. Be as prepared as possible. Organize yourself so well that you've thought of every contingency.
And when you see me at the East Coast Classic, come by and say hi. I just might be eating one of those special cupcakes!

Zuleika
www.zbellydance.com
www.ecclassic.com